yeah.

i think i'm getting more grown-up.

i just lost two jobs in a half hour, and i'm not freaking out.

well, maybe a little, but not like i would have once upon a time.

i'm just tired, you know? tired of things not working out. tired of not knowing what's going to happen next. ever. even when i think i know, i don't.

but here's where the grown-up part comes in: i'm ok. i know that things are going to be ok. this is just another glitch, and i've handled my share of those lately.

maybe that's what grown-up is for me. knowing that i can handle it, because i have before.

and i don't have to handle it alone. I have God, i have Matt, and i have my family. when you really break it down, that's all i need.

that's cool. :o)

ok, so maybe i'm not completely grown-up yet...

flashback

so i'm sitting here working on the tax return of a girl i knew when we were both kids, and backstreet boys came on the yahoo radio. do you rememer how you felt, how life felt when we were 15? i had a moment just now...i remembered how everything looked and felt and it's so hard to believe that it was all 10 years ago. sometimes looking back it's like i was a different person...but i don't think i have actually changed a wholewhole lot. grown, yes (well, not height-wise ;o)), but inside I'm still me.

and i just realized that this is the cheesiest post in the history of xanga. :oP but you know what i mean.

tax

working the taxes

balancing the b-dubs books

drying out the living room rug

and the utility room

and, finally, the bathroom

i will post pictures one day

that's my life right now.